; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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