We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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