I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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