If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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