I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
