just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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