a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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