I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
