Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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