here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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