Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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