Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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