his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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