yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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