I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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