Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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