Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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