Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
