I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
