get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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