Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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