walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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