just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
