I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
