I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
