Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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