I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
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She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
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Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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