He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
