ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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