are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
