Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  I'm being pulled over???

  (520): View more from Arizona

  For what!?!?!

  (323): View more from California

  ??? I'm in a cab!!!!!

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  (323): I'm being pulled over??? (520): For what!?!?! (323): ??? I'm in a cab!!!!! http://tfl.nu/d19c
  Replies (8) Good night (902) Bad night (1400)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before

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  (828): what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before http://tfl.nu/qvbs
  Replies (7) Good night (721) Bad night (3142)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.

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  (918): On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break. http://tfl.nu/zpw8
  Replies (15) Good night (1319) Bad night (3325)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.

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  (651): I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me. http://tfl.nu/og6e
  Replies (11) Good night (1345) Bad night (3929)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.

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  (856): Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing. http://tfl.nu/px2y
  Replies (15) Good night (4255) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.

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  (203): I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further. http://tfl.nu/4sxq
  Replies (5) Good night (2551) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.

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  (254): It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway. http://tfl.nu/k2oc
  Replies (8) Good night (1241) Bad night (3193)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.

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  (440): i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it. http://tfl.nu/zxnq
  Replies (2) Good night (1540) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.

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  (307): I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER. http://tfl.nu/f0gg
  Replies (7) Good night (960) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?

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  (313): My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up? http://tfl.nu/qcgq
  Replies (1) Good night (868) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.

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  (816): He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken. http://tfl.nu/2q6x
  Replies (1) Good night (751) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood

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  (914): I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood http://tfl.nu/gm6c
  Replies (7) Good night (781) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.

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  (517): Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win. http://tfl.nu/fots
  Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year

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  (775): Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year http://tfl.nu/q4wn
  Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.

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  (206): Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary. http://tfl.nu/o05e
  Replies (1) Good night (282) Bad night (458)

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