Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself. http://tfl.nu/hxa2
  Replies (5) Good night (1989) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas? http://tfl.nu/8ynt
  Replies (5) Good night (2566) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth http://tfl.nu/rgv0
  Replies (19) Good night (812) Bad night (4526) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING http://tfl.nu/6fv4
  Replies (24) Good night (992) Bad night (8707) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again. http://tfl.nu/x87e
  Replies (45) Good night (1779) Bad night (5558) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time (1-732): swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph http://tfl.nu/tobf
  Replies (11) Good night (4634) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you. http://tfl.nu/0cak
  Replies (13) Good night (1246) Bad night (2363) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids http://tfl.nu/b5v5
  Replies (25) Good night (9848) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?" http://tfl.nu/srbv
  Replies (4) Good night (4033) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight". http://tfl.nu/suji
  Replies (5) Good night (4034) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas" http://tfl.nu/kk50
  Replies (13) Good night (4010) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/ynhk
  Replies (3) Good night (1561) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled. (712): On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride. http://tfl.nu/7lij
  Replies (2) Good night (2009) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now http://tfl.nu/fnbr
  Replies (11) Good night (1799) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again. http://tfl.nu/lu9i
  Replies (9) Good night (583) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt

Randomize