Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself. http://tfl.nu/hxa2
  Replies (5) Good night (2068) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten. http://tfl.nu/097z
  Replies (35) Good night (473) Bad night (4782)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures. http://tfl.nu/t4cj
  Replies (3) Good night (4240) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off http://tfl.nu/gmrh
  Replies (17) Good night (5510) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place. http://tfl.nu/vbxd
  Replies (18) Good night (5867) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal? http://tfl.nu/dwfw
  Replies (20) Good night (1296) Bad night (4102)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  WHY are the edges of my bra charred???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): WHY are the edges of my bra charred??? http://tfl.nu/czt9
  Replies (12) Good night (3294) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening. http://tfl.nu/ib1o
  Replies (10) Good night (3055) Bad night (1628)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business. http://tfl.nu/965c
  Replies (14) Good night (855) Bad night (2880)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/yfpy
  Replies (8) Good night (713) Bad night (2043)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.." http://tfl.nu/n3mo
  Replies (4) Good night (3191) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever. http://tfl.nu/jdwu
  Replies (13) Good night (676) Bad night (2097)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip. http://tfl.nu/7yby
  Replies (64) Good night (3019) Bad night (5207)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE. http://tfl.nu/9lhc
  Replies (7) Good night (2772) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years. http://tfl.nu/o48r
  Replies (6) Good night (328) Bad night (992)

Randomize