you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
