But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
