Can i not drive my cunt home
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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