I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
