Don't you send me to vm
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
