Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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