I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
