His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
