You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
