Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
