is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
