i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
