You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
