I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
