I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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