is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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