i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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