I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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