new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
