Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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