just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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