Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
