I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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