He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
