so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
