Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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