You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
