I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
