a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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