this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
