ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
