I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
